just the rev

I believe in spiritual warfare...but it always seems to feels like I'm battling against the church. I'm feeling a bit confused as to where the arrows are coming from. Got a bit low this week when I was encouraged by a senior clergyman to think of what was best for my career. Am not really interested in a career! Jesus' disciples didn't think in terms of career paths and they left everything - throwing away their careers to follow Him. I really don't want a career but I really do want to follow Him and learn to count the cost (the betrayal, the being heard but being deeply misunderstood, the being patronised, the being control....). time to get dressed for battle?

it worries me a little that I feel more under attack from the church than 'the world'. it worries me because I am tempted to think that if I were a better Christian it would surely be the world that was out to drag me downwards and so not the church. If the church is attacking me then what is the purpose of the attack?!! it feels like I am under attack in order to make myself conform and toe the line. But if I am to submit/surrender I submit/surrender ultimately to a man and not an institution. that man is Jesus.... I think he felt under attack too and I think it was 'the wrong people' (the religious creeps of the day) that attacked him.

had my first doughnut on a funeral visit today. what a blessing!!

"Stop! Let me off!!!!!"

problem is this crazy ride probably won't stop till after Christmas. Sunday looms with another all age 'production' and the launch of our advent labyrinth. Had a good time with all those trendy yoof workers the other day...got me thinking about how we can seem to stop creating labels. Losing/shedding labels and then just creating another set of labels is inevitable and doesn't matter perhaps. Perhaps the only danger is when we stop seeing this shedding and creating of labels as a never finishing process. Trouble is most of us get rather smug about shaking of a label and rather too cocky about the new one we have created. The worst thing about labels is they help us take ourselves far too seriously.

do you ever wonder why you pay to go on something you don't really enjoy or something you enjoy but leaves you feeling somewhat shaken and sick at the same time?!

feel like I am being swung along upside down at full speed....anyway can't say that I am bored!